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Is your work holding you back from being the best version of yourself?

By Amalia Chilianis

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it” Maya Angelou, civil rights activist, poet and storyteller.

Do you feel like this great quote only applies in times of prosperity? That the current environment has forced a reevaluation of multiple aspects of life, a resetting of priorities and a reminder of what’s most important. However, in this time of uncertainty and economic challenges, survival instinct trumps happiness when our primary income is threatened. So, we either feel grateful to have a job even if we hate it or we’ve been forced to change through job loss and we focus on getting a job, any job.

If you can relate, please don’t let that stop you pursuing satisfying and meaningful work, “liking what you do and how you do it”. Because work that enables us to be the best version of ourselves, can provide many benefits including opportunities to learn, to build relationships, enjoyment, sense of achievement, sense of belonging and an ability to contribute to something greater just to name a few. For financial necessity, it might be that you have to take a job as a stop gap, but you can still set a goal and work on a plan to move onto something better and more fulfilling. We spend so much of our valuable time at work, that it is not too much to ask that we enjoy it more often than we don’t, as well as meeting our fundamental need for an income.

We often don’t consciously think about what it takes for us to be ready to act in order to make a change. But maybe you are aware of regularly ruminating about changing careers, or you’re tired of complaining to your partner about your job, or perhaps they are tired of hearing you complain and yet doing nothing about it. Likely, the story you are telling yourself is that now is not the time for a change.

Hope is not lost, there are a few things that can help if underneath it all, you know that you are unhappy with your career or job and you dream of making a change someday.

Needs

As humans we have basic psychological needs when it comes to being motivated to act, to perform at your best and to continue to grow. A need for competence (both capability and confidence in our ability), a personal connection to a goal and some sense of autonomy, personal control. Based on the work of Deci and Ryan (1985), when these are satisfied people are more motivated and have better mental health and when they are impeded lead to diminished motivation and wellbeing. Ask yourself the following, do you;

Feel competent (and confident) to change jobs or careers?

Have a clear goal?

Feel that you have some sense of personal control?

Understandably all of these can be challenging, but breaking each point down and exploring whether you can do one thing to help you with your confidence, to get clear on a goal and to focus even on something small that you can control.

Act

Before anyone makes a decision and takes action, they will contemplate the situation. Maybe you have not fully resolved whether it is time to move on. Or you are stuck between two options that are equally daunting, staying where you are with the status quo or making a change to the unknown. 

A pragmatic and effective way to move from contemplation to preparation to act is through small steps. Trying small safe actions to move forward. Not over thinking it, or “having the answer”, but taking one step at time and getting out of your head into action.

Looking at how able and confident you feel about making a change, you could simply start with updating your resume and capture your recent achievements. To help you clarify a possible goal for what might be next you could safely talk to your trusted networks or find a close friend or colleague who you can help you discuss possible options. Even researching the job market and setting up relevant job alerts, can help to give you some sense of control.

The pursuit for greater satisfaction from work is not for smiley face emoji happiness, but more that the ratio of the work you do, you enjoy more often than not. It is also not about a lack of difficulty, as challenge has been proven as a requirement for job satisfaction.

Want

While keen for you to move from contemplation to action, there is one critical step that you need to get clear on. You need to be able to clearly articulate your wants. People are better able to help you when you know what you want. You will also be more focused with your time and energy looking for something better, rather than more of the same. Reflect and write down what you ideally want from your work. How you want it to look, feel and fit in and enable the rest of your life. Everyone deserves to be and feel valued for the work they do and to gain satisfaction from their time spent contributing to work. Work can provide many benefits outside of the financial necessity. What do you want work to be and do for you? What would close to ideal look like? What conditions would make it excellent? What is most important in the work you want to be doing?

Whether you categorise your work as white-collar, knowledge worker, tradie or creative, as humans we all have needs that are met by our work and being clear on your needs as well as your wants can help you move to act. You can move from a passenger on a boat at the whim of the tides and wind, to steering your own path while navigating them.

Bio

Amalia is a mid-working life senior professional who is determined that the next 20 years of work and life will be different to the last. A courageous leader and an encourager of others who wants to help people create and secure meaningful work for a new future.

Succeeding and enduring more than 20 years in Human Resources in large corporates, such as PwC, IBM, GM Holden, NAB and more, taking on demanding leadership roles but always focused on business savvy, pragmatic and sustainable solutions that help people improve, change and grow.

Hired into GM Holden with the express purpose of designing and leading the support program for the closure of Manufacturing and Engineering. Together with a great team, created the most successful transition program to date with 95% of almost 3000 people participating and 93% securing gainful employment.

Having personally experienced numerous roles being made redundant and with a career spanning recruitment, career development and organisational development she has expertise from multiple perspectives. Currently, coach, speaker and consultant working nationally and internationally helping people and organisations develop and change to achieve a better future.

Links for Sharing

Website. https://amaliachilianis.com

LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/in/amalia-chilianis/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Amalia-Chilianis-Consulting

Instagram amalia_chilianis

Guest Blogger 2020 Uncategorized
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5 Projects To Build Your Community

I met Kirsty after we were both showcased by YMag, and when we finally met in person we just clicked.  As a result of that, she has assisted in the build of a new project I’m working on. She is interested in DIY Marketing and  creating custom digital products and I totally recommend her services. This blog is a timely piece of advice during some very uncertain times. – Becky Paroz

Guest Blogger Kirsty Fields

Creating IP in a business is incredibly important to both stand out in your market and will result in making money. But how do you go from having an idea and creating the IP for it, to selling your idea? What’s more, if your market is flooded with similar solutions and there’s lots of sales messaging available what can you do to start a successful pathway? Build a community. This community can exist in different formats, online or offline, be geographically based or not. You build a community from your clients, networking and industry connections, contractors and suppliers, friends, referrers and collaborators. What all these different groups have in common, is that they collectively make up your community. If something happens to one sector of your community, it’s likely you’ll maintain other sectors.

Here’s five small projects to launch to help build your community to be able to formalise and grow a “list” of contacts to formalise a communication strategy. This activity alone is key for you to sell to in the future, but always the way in which you can mass-communicate information, education, support and awareness. And a portion of your marketing mix that is always left unnurtured, and therefore an untapped asset to your business. Each one of these five projects can be implemented using simple technology to capture information from your community if you haven’t done so already.

This will allow you to turn each of the five projects into a new community group to connect with directly as a smaller group, or as part of your wider community. And you could use all five of these projects together for a bigger more impactful outcome offering a variety of styles catering to individual interests.

  1. Create a freebie
  2. Start a pop-up Facebook group
  3. Run a short-term challenge
  4. Host a low-priced ticket masterclass or workshop (online or in person)
  5. Run a private bespoke event offering membership

Create a Freebie

Creating freebies are perhaps the easiest of the lot! Sending your freebie out via a sign-up scenario means you capture an email address as a minimum. Popular freebies include E-Books, webinars, podcasts, tools like calculators, discounts, or mini versions of a service/product like an audit or consult. Save your work in easily accessible formats e.g. PDF files, downloadable Zip folders or links to hidden pages on your website and give access to them only after you collect the private information of each user that allows you to communicate with them in the future.

Start a pop-up Facebook group

Pop up Facebooks are a great idea to contain a small group to WOW new people to your community, service them with some education or access to freebies and a supportive community. It also allows you to entertain them, provide great service from you or your team. It also provides a closed area for you to market directly to them. The key to success with Facebook groups is brand-relevant visually appealing and professionally structured content. Your time and effort needs to go into the group before it’s populated, allowing you to turn up Live instead of the stress of daily content creation. This is never fun!

Don’t delete your Pop Up group once the original purpose has run its course. Reuse the group repetitively, as you’ll find those who valued it the first time (plus those who may not have given their full attention, or needed better timing), won’t leave of their own accord. That allows you to add to your group quarterly or half-yearly with a membership number that impresses the viewer.

Run a short-term challenge

Short-term challenges can be great fun and you can pick up community members with savvy social campaigns when you run them. Think hashtags for engagement, cross-platform participation with Instagram, and entertainment all the way. Just like any other campaign you run, lead-in time is everything! Promote it for at least 6 weeks organically before day 1 to maximise numbers. Your email communication should be short, sharp and clear across the time of the challenge with your own example included each day. Remind participants with scheduled email campaigns that include daily or every second day reminders the week it starts. Selecting daily winners from participants is a great draw card, as is a collaborative challenge. You can also run a short-term challenge in a Facebook group – or create a Pop Up Facebook group for this purpose.

Host a low-priced ticket masterclass or workshop

We run low-priced workshops regularly. Several times a year in fact, and the feedback we receive from clients every time is that they enjoy and appreciate an intimate gathering of like-minded people. It allows for a more personalised approach, but also allows you to maintain a low budget in many areas including choice of venue, catering and print/marketing collateral requirements. To secure the number of guests you need by following an event plan rolling out over a 10-12 week period. This is an ideal time frame to allow you publish a variety of events marketing information from the time you launch, to the date of the event. This allows you to run one per quarter as part of a regular onboarding process. And don’t forget, this event could be a digital event with video conferencing or Live video in a private group setting.

Run a private bespoke event offering membership

If what you have to offer doesn’t support a low-priced anything, then a bespoke private event is more likely to hit your target! Along with a higher price tag, an impressive location, providing experiential program features, bespoke events offering membership as the kicker are a big hit with women in particular. Think retreats – spiritual or corporate in nature – providing elements that may be perceived as difficult to organise in a day to day circumstance, or that may be considered luxurious. Include add-ons, have varied pricing structures to snag guests earlier or provide a higher price tag for a distinct purpose. The activity of community building is a long game and requires patience. However, it’s genuinely one of the most successful marketing activities a company can undertake for longevity.

Though it takes a long time to build a huge list, once you’re in the hang of it and include it in your marketing activities, you will feed into your database with ease. Suggestions above are superficially based on social media activity or events based. These are my own areas of specialty at Social Ocean, which is an events marketing agency. Combining your online social presence with face to face events is a highly successful mix, that will not only assist in building your list but create your raving fans!

KIRSTY FIELDS – BIO

Armed with over 20 years’ experience in the event management business, Kirsty Fields has co-ordinated everything from kids’ events to national sports games. After a successful career in sports, she embraced modern marketing and promotional techniques.

Her passion for training clients in social media, digital marketing and branding has been combined to present her multi-award winning business Social Ocean a bespoke events marketing agency.

Kirsty’s experience in event management and coordination, and the small business space, backed by her passion for marketing, makes her an ideal source for all things related to events, small business, marketing, social media and branding.

LINKS FOR SHARING

Social Links:

Website (relaunching this month): https://www.socialocean.com.au

To follow along with Social Ocean, and for regular tips and tricks, join them on

Facebook: www.facebook.com/socialoceanau

LinkedIn Page: www.linkedin.com/company/social-ocean-au

Instagram Page: www.instagram.com/socialoceanau

Pinterest Page: www.pinterest.com.au/SocialOceanAU

Guest Blogger 2020 resilience Uncategorized
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YFactor 2019!

This is a recap of my attendance at #YFactor2019 and not paid advertising.

It is a truth, sometimes unacknowledged, that large groups of women are, sometimes, a little scary to other women. The tropes are rife in social media. The backlash is strong when a woman speaks her mind about something unpopular. It is a scary place in the world today to be a woman who speaks her mind.

Not so at the YFactor. Hosted by team who also brings you #YMag, this two day conference bought together entrepreneurial business women from around Australia and allowed them a safe space to share their journeys, their insights and their passion : their ‘Y’.

I have been through the conference circuits many times. I have attended and spoken at industry, professional, educational, and empowerment conferences and been in the audience for many more. I saw Jane Caro speak before she was a household name. I knew Jack Delosa when he was training to be the powerhouse he now is. Yes I am also older than I look!

And I have never attended a conference like this. The stories were powerful, visceral and real. If you are keen to find out more, any copy of YMag will showcase these incredible women and I absolutely recommend you grab the latest copy to hear from the utterly beautiful soul that is Bec McMillan (https://www.facebook.com/luminouscrystalxo/).

Her story had everyone feeling all of the feels. And it was beautiful. I have never seen 60 women all focused on supporting and loving another woman in the way that this room responded. There were breakdowns, breakthrough and breakouts. You will find out about the cage dancing if you join us, because I believe there are plans next year to double down.

Throughout the whole event there was support. There were tissues, pens, and wisdom shared between women from all walks of life and with vastly different experience. What was missing, was judgement.
Just think of how powerful that statement is. To be in a room full of women and no judgement. It is a microcosm of the world we wish we lived in. It was an absolute credit to the team who put it together.

And me? I met new friends and made new connections with women I never would have interacted with in my other lives. I put on he performance of my life in delivering my speech and loved ever minute of that freedom – I love presenting, but the chance to perform…. Well you don’t get that at an engineering conference!

I felt accepted, welcomed, even appreciated in a way that I personally have never experienced from a group of women. I met some #gamechangers #thoughtleaders #innovators and #disrupters
I met women who cared, who loved, who gave, and who are going to rock this world.

And I am one of them.

#GladiatHER
#speaker #presentet #performer

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Film Crew versus Construction Team

It’s a weird one right?  Who would think that working on a film set would have anything to do with construction.  The tie in is via my Project Manager qualification and the cross over into this world from a position of observation. 

I was safety girl for the film set, a local company that was organising and producing a short film for entry in Cannes Film Festival, and through the power of networking, one of my contacts called upon me to support.  It wasn’t a thrilling suggestion, offer my skills for free in return for … what exactly?  If that sounds selfish, you might recall I am a highly paid and qualified construction project manager, coach, mentor, and published award winning author.  I don’t come cheap and I have worked my ass off all my life to earn that high price.
(see journey to cover girl blog)

However, I also enjoy experiencing new ideas and being able to see alternative ways of doing, how other careers work, and I like to learn new things. When I found out there were children involved, I was sold on the idea. To be a safety manager is an important job, one I take seriously. The entire premise is to make sure people are safe and stay safe, and once you add children, and a new learning experience, it was a pretty easy choice. 
Except they forgot to mention the early starts!  The long hours. The disarray that comes from working with a new team should have been something I had thought of based on my own experiences building skilled teams, but nope. Foolish mortal!

I realised early that it really was so similar to project management in the construction industry, that I spent some time thinking about how the various roles matched my experience. It was good fun, and kept me focused on those 14 hour days when I saw both sunrise and sunset. So here goes, a breakdown of the film crew through the eyes of a construction guru…
First you have the Producer. They are the client in my world, the ones who put up the money.  Our producer was also intimately involved in the film behind the scenes organising, dealing with problems and making sure everyone got fed. I can say not most clients in my work would do that, but it was awesome to have a chance to connect with the person who was responsible for making such a project happen. 

Then there is the Director. It is his vision, his script, his concepts the rest of us were tasked to bring to life. So he is similar to the Design Manager on a project. Creating the vision, the layout, the goals, the ideas from scratch and expecting the construction team to bring it to life. Make it so!  
The Assistant Film Director and the Production Coordinator are the next two people who come to mind. They are the project management team, the project leads in my world. Keeping the Director focused, on time and ensuring the here-and-now outcomes, acting the liaison between the rest of the team and the vision, they are integral to the success of leading the team through the creation process. 

The cinematographer is the Construction Manager.  Using a camera instead of a white board, but nonetheless responsible for interpreting the Director’s vision, he uses his lens, carefully selecting the correct one, at the right height, angle and aperture, in order to capture the creation.  In much the same way that the Construction Manager will ensure the right people and activities occur according to the schedule, he alters the concept from idea to reality. 

Then you have the gripping crew. I struggled at first to place them, but they are the highly skilled operators. Working in close conjunction and consultation with the cinematographer, they use their experience,  judgement and precision plant and equipment to create the very effect that the cinematographer needs, the Director desires, in order to make the vision accurate and highlight the beauty of the creation unfolding. Machine operators are not often viewed as being specialists by those in senior management, nor seen as creators. Without them nothing can happen, nothing works quite as it should, and very little can get accomplished. In both worlds. 

The film cast are the project team. It might seem weird that they are seemingly not important to the overall scheme but they are critical. They are the doers, the people who get the job done while the vision unfolds around them. Following the instructions from a multitude of management, they are the people who act out the collective creation from all that have been mentioned before. 

There was an amazing crew of interns who I would call middle management. The support, the help, the organisers and the runners of the film world, just as they are in the construction industry. Our interns were from a local highschool and they have such bright futures ahead of them from the dedication I saw.  Their teacher was also an incredibly helpful support to them and the film crew on the day. You could call him one of the project sponsors. 

And then there is the art department. Procurement in my world, they obtain the things necessary to assist the vision. The art, the backgrounds, the props, the costumes, they are the procurement specialist, without them, you run the risk of getting the wrong pipe. Or the wrong prop to complete the analogy.   They can make old sheds looks like a mystery world, garages looks like a cavern of treasures and planets look like they were plucked from the sky. 

I almost forgot about the sound department!  Which is understandable, because we mostly take the effect of background – bird calls, machinery hum, wind – for granted… Until it is not there. They are the unseen support crew, something like the surveyors in a project team. They are just there, doing the work, checking the measures, and without them something just doesn’t feel right. It was ironic, or perhaps simply poetic, that the sound crew were some of the quietest members of the set. But so important to the overall finish and polish of the creation. Just like the surveyors of the construction world, without the sound team, you risk the final product not being quite right. 

And if anyone is wondering if I struggled with not being in charge, the answer is yes, I did.  After managing multi-million (think $500 Million average) projects and being the overseer, it was a real problem for me to keep out of the way.  But I did.  After all safety works best when noone realises they are doing their job, but everyone gets to go home. 
And that’s a wrap. 

Mentoring resilience Uncategorized
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Dancing with Imposter Syndrome

“it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off’  
Florence and the Machine – Lyrics from “Shake It Off” 

We have a name for it now.  That feeling of inadequacy and the doom that shrouds us when we consider ourselves, particularly in comparison to others, when we allow the not-good-enough to rule our minds and emotions. 

I have been active participant in a dance with imposter syndrome ever since I can remember.  My father made a point of sharing his displeasure that I had been born a girl.  He often expressed that with more than his voice; fists were involved.  Fortunately for me I was of the type that used the physical pain to overcome and fight against.  The fight was only in my mind for many years until I developed the words to “shake him off”. 

My mother was not a role-model for me, many years of domestic violence had whittled away at her for so long she didn’t know who she was.  Even if there was a space for her in the world he created; her husband, my father, was far too controlling to allow any form of self-expression. 

In my professional life, I chose the difficult path of engineering and construction.  I didn’t really choose it, not back then.  Back then it was a suitable use of my skills and the fastest way to a high paying long-term career – in my mind – escape!  What I didn’t realise, that at no point was this industry going to make my dance with imposter syndrome smooth, more coordinated, elegant.  It made it worse.  And I still didn’t know what it was, just that I didn’t fit… anywhere. 

I was in an industry that (back then) was much more resistant to females in the ‘power roles’ – admin and HR were perfectly fine – but engineer, leader?  I was one of 10 women in my university course of over 600.  I had some wonderful men who didn’t see my gender as an issue, they went out of there way to acknowledge that as I was bright, determined, and logically smart, I could make it.  They supported and trained and mentored me before mentoring was even on the radar as a powerful tool.  Since then I have become my own mentor, failing to find anyone who could fulfil that role for me during the early professional years of my life.

Fast forward through sever and on-going chronic illness, the final death of my father and my mother coming to live with me, and the many numerous projects and construction experiences I have had and it is only now, coming out of my thirties, that I feel I am now the lead in this convoluted dance.  I chose when and how to turn, I choose the steps and the path.  The imposter syndrome is now subdued, my pet almost, something that lifts it head for attention but does not insist any more than I dance to the tune of its making.  I check in with it every now and then, because I also do not want to become its opposite – an ego monster, one so enamoured of itself that it becomes as consuming as the imposter syndrome once was.  But it is now a tool, a function, one I have embraced and integrated into my life, rather than forced out.  I stopped giving it permission. 

The voice that tells me I have come so far from that scared, frightened, shy and subdued young lady is now a roar that echoes through the lives I have affected, showing the world and its propensity for shutting down the shine, that I am here and I am an incredible survivor, a high achiever, and I am not stopping any time soon.   

I hope that your journey with imposter syndrome can be turned on its head and that you too can see the light that shines within you.  I made it, I know you can too.  

“pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel, like you’re less than f###ing perfect” 
P!nk – Lyrics from Perfect  

Becky Paroz doesn’t fit in.  She has worked for nearly 30 years in the construction industry, taking names and making one for herself.  She loves her workboots, colours her hair purple and speaks loudly with a strong and confident voice.  Bek makes her place in the world, she has never waited for a space to open for her Moving beyond  mentoring within industry for the last 10 years, Becky is now seeking her tribe to connect within and would love to hear from any fellow mavericks and nonconformists out there at any of her social media spots which you can find on her website www.wordsofbek.com.au  

If you would like to talk to Bek about her mentoring please fill in the form below:

Empowering Mentoring Uncategorized
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Adversity also means Opportunity

WORDS OF BEK

I was to have travelled to India to speak at the Women’s Economic Forum (WEF) 2019. It is a conference where women (and men) come together to exchange ideas in the hope that sharing experience, knowledge and networks can support economic and personal growth for women around the world. It is a global network and approximately 200 women were expected to attend. I was to be one of them.

Combined with that, I was one of the group chosen to speak with a charity run by the Australian delegate supporting this forum, the wonderful @Shar_Moore These wonderful young women had come from all kinds of backgrounds and were facing the possibility of studying to become doctors and engineers and I was looking forward to sharing my story with them and the myriad of possibilities that lay before them.

I was due to travel on the 9th April with the rest of the amazing delegation from Australia. I was in the hairdressers on the 2nd April getting prepped and pimped by the amazing Dana from @beautifyhairdesign

I had received my intravenous medication for my Rheumatoid Arthritis not a week earlier and it was full systems ready, set, GO for the big trip. Plus I was also booked to see the Taj Mahal – stopover for one night after the conference and before the meeting at Project RANi . Except something wasn’t right. Except, I was determined to overcome it, nothing was going to stop me. Turns out surgery did stop me. I was in hospital that night by 8pm representing with a blood pressure reading that was scaring people more than my pain levels, and the pain levels were through the roof. Turns out my gall bladder was filled with balls (technically called gall stones)– so full in fact one had popped out and was lodged in a pipe somewhere. Once that was determined, I was then prepped for emergency surgery. The nurses were very pleased that I had my hair and nails done for the visit and paid me a great deal of compliments. I love nurses. They do a great job in pretty extreme circumstances, and a bit of humour makes a bleak place just that bit lighter. So I always try and make jokes with the nurses so we can both laugh at our shared circumstances. There is no need to abuse the people who are making you as comfortable as you can be in, what are also pretty rotten circumstances for at least one of you #writethatdown I digress, because I am still devastated that I couldn’t go. One of the doctors was pretty nasty about it. I finally received the emergency surgery on Thursday 4 th April. I was maybe starting to accept that it might not perhaps be smart, to maybe consider, that perhaps, it was a possibility, I could not go to India… It certainly wasn’t acceptance at that point. So this particular doctor, on her rounds, with an audience, thought she would demonstrate her incredibly poor, very bad manners, terrible bedside skills, and clearly acknowledging my humanity, that despite making it all that way through what had to a have been a tough journey to obtain her skills

(dubious as I am about them); instead of being respectful of another powerful women, she dug another kind of scalpel under my skin and asked (and yes, the voice matched the attitude) “So, you still going to India?” Now I get that I couldn’t go. I get that it would have been risky and dangerous and quite potentially life-threatening if I got worse and not better. But that was MY acceptance to come to. In my own time, which admittedly, was a short window by this stage. Not her story to mock, to sneer, to spit upon. And it was mocking. It was nasty, nastily delivered, while I was drugged to my eye-balls, vulnerably lying with some tubes still sticking out of me, less than 12 hours after my surgery finished and dealing with my grief at not being able to deliver some (hopefully) supporting and powerful messages to women who might benefit from hearing what I have to say.

And so she sliced. I have several words I have used to describe her that I will not print here. I may make a formal complaint. I may move on from it without doing so. I haven’t yet decided because I am more focused on myself than I am on the slings and scalpels of others. I am more concerned with getting better and continuing my missions to support other women, to lift up those that I can reach, than I am spending time worried about some nasty piece of work having a dig ‘cause thinks I am some privileged women complaining about her holiday plans – or whatever story she told herself to make it okay for her to be such a terrible person in that moment. I get she might not even be a terrible person generally speaking. But she was in that moment a woman who didn’t just drag a woman down, she kicked her while she was in down and in pain. That’s just plain old ordinary average run-of-the-mill nasty. It happens everywhere, every day, to lots of people. And some of them aren’t as willing, or empowered, or confident, or even aware enough to know that you don’t have to be affected, and you certainly don’t have to take on the nasty acts of others. You can move beyond it.

You see, I know where my privilege comes from – I earnt it. I grew up in poverty, in a domestic violence situation where there was never enough money for food but always enough money for drugs and alcohol. I paid my own way through university by getting a low paid “cadetship” (another word for cheap labour) role in my chosen industry. AU$3.33 an hour to be precise. And was paid in minute- long increments, none of this rounding up thank you! If he said I started at 7:36am and I wrote on my timesheet 7:35am, guess what? I didn’t get paid for that minute. Yep, that really happened and yep, I really put up with it. I was 17 years old. It was my first job out of an environment where I was raised to never question what I was told. I had no skills to negotiate or even begin to understand what my rights were. I just needed to work and earn money to get out of the situation I was in, so worked my ass off, I did. His office was also in his own house that he showered and lived in. There were other blokes working there too. I never knew how weird this was until I told people this story and they looked at me like “WHAT??!” That is just one example and it’s the first in my career of 28 years since then and counting. I’ve earned my money, my job titles, my qualifications, my knowledge, and my position, as well as the ability to share how I managed to overcome my circumstances and actually be a success.

During this time I have been working on accepting this really (badword) news about India, one of the ladies I have mentored has written a beautiful message in a guest blog discussing how I have inspired her life in the time we have known each other, and shared skills that have changed her possibilities. Her opportunities.

Another approach was random, completely unexpected, asking me to be a brand ambassador for beyondBeanie insta tag @beyondbeanie

One of the founders is in design and architecture and supports Arthritis Foundation as a volunteer. The sales of the hand-made beanies and other products available support women, artists and children in Bolivia, most of them from rural areas and/or disadvantaged communities. Talk about aligning with my values! I was privileged to be asked and am organising that as I write this. (Watch this space for official announcements – but you heard it here first and hope that this does make a difference and create opportunities for the community.)

I am the guest speaker for an event in Melbourne in the middle of May (tickets available ) and if you can attend, I would love for you to come and introduce yourself. It is the 15th year the BPW Geelong group has been around for and I will be at their   Moving On Up Breakfast, which is designed to encourage people to strive to ‘Move on Up’ in their lives and careers. The topic is one of my favourites – Resilience. Your Greatest Asset. It kind of coincides with the theme of my life! There have been more than a few other wonderful moments during this recovery time, where the women in my circle gave back to me at a really low moment. And so, I grieved for my loss, and then I got on with it. I am back at my desk sorting plans and making progress on other things, like writing this blog. Like supporting other women. Like applying for a book award (because you never know if you don’t try!). Like finding other ways to contribute to women through on-line communities while I am in recovery and supposedly “resting”.

I don’t do resting well, although I have had to learn, rapidly. Surgery is not arthritis, and frankly give me arthritis any day over major surgery again. It is always relative, what we can learn to live with, isn’t it?

So onwards, upwards, outwards and over it – as long as you’re using it, you’re not losing it. And that goes for my attitude as well as my bendy-not-so-bendy joints.

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Are You a Superwoman – Part 4

The final installment of our blog series where we have been dissecting the idea of the superwoman.  The last category for judging is upon you. By now I hope you realise that you are doing well just making it through each day!  You are doing the best you can and that is what make you a contender for the title.

This extract is from Becky’ published book, The Words of Bek , and was also the subject of her presentation on Louisville Kentucky USA in 2014. 

Action – Flying Safely

You know that making decisions is only half the story.  The other half is the action required to see it through.  Whether wearing an apron for a BBQ, a business coat for the meeting, a flour covered housedress while baking; juggling a wooden spoon, mobile phone, mixing bowl and engineering plans; while organizing school camp, the next monthly budget report, creating a birthday cake, while setting up the latest science project due; herding dogs with your feet, children with your elbows; greeting a husband welcome home and sending that email; you are doing it.

It may not look elegant; it may not be pretty; it may seem ridiculous watching from afar to another being; it may hurt and it may not look like that all the time either; however it does feel like this, some of the time, for all of us, in whatever our situation is.

So today’s superwomen are the women in this audience; the women who helped put this conference together; the women who will work in the hotel and cater to us during our stay; the women who are nurturing and raising the next generation of leaders for our world; the women who are in hospital recovering from life-saving surgery and the women who are helping them to recover; women everywhere around our world are the picture we need to have of the ultimate Super-Woman, because it is all of us that will make our community truly global if we can but see the superpowers in others and work together.

Now go back to your list of superpowers and maybe think about what else you would like to add and go ahead and write it.  You already have it, but sometimes it feels good to acknowledge it and be supported in that knowledge.  Celebrate with someone today about what your powers are and how good it feels to tell yourself that you are a superwoman just as you are.    B

If you have found this blog series relevant, please drop the author a line or let her know on social media.  Your feedback is welcome and reviews of her book are always appreciated.  You may also wish to purchase a copy of her book for more words of bek to support managing your mindset.

Becky Paroz doesn’t fit in.  She has worked for nearly 30 years in the construction industry, taking names and making one for herself.  She loves her workboots, colours her hair purple and speaks loudly with a strong and confident voice.  Bek makes her place in the world, she has never waited for a space to open for her. Moving beyond mentoring within industry for the last 10 years, Becky is now seeking her tribe to connect within and would love to hear from any fellow mavericks and nonconformists out there at any of her social media spots which you can find here (hyperlink)

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Top 10 Women to Watch 2019

Being given the title of “Woman to Watch” is kind of daunting. I have had some time to get used to the idea, and I have seen the amazing women be really proud of the achievement they have made, an I wonder why I haven’t really made much of a fuss in mentioning it. Some of it has been the wonderful and self-inflicted joy of my new furkids – Freya and Rigga, our 2 new ridgeback puppies – some of it has been a reluctance to “talk myself up”. While I am not lacking in confidence (those who know me would agree) it is a bit different when talking about an award that kind of says you might be a big deal. 😊 
I am not used to thinking that way about myself until I stop and realise what I have been through in my life.

I am a terrible sleeper at the best of times. I was never safe in my home as a child and then I was diagnosed with a chronic, incurable disease when a teenager. You’d think I’d give up, right? I was told to by the “experts”. I wish I had someone I could relate to at the time, who could tell me that, in fact, my life was not over.
Give up, change your plans, you won’t make it. These were the messages I received. Do these all sound familiar? You don’t have to experience what I had in my life back then for you to be tortured by the thoughts of “not good enough”, the idea that you are a failure, that you will never amount to anything. If you could stop that 2am litany (and all the other times you tell yourself how bad you are as a person) would you take it? I would have if I had found it.

If you could stop beating yourself up, worrying over things out of your control and experience abundance in your life, to know that you are good enough, what action would you take?

I was that person. For so many years, troubled by the never-good-enough-and-never-going-to-amount-to-anything thoughts. Not really believing it was true, but having no one to tell me that I could be good enough, in fact, I could be amazing! And here I am, being a little bit excited by the thought that I might be, in fact, a woman to watch!
You can have this too. It took me years of searching to find myself, my purpose, my happiness. I tried everything and looked to everyone for answers. I eventually found them. Some of those lessons have made there way into my book, there is so much more! I want you to have that. To discover confidence, resilience, to become a leader in your own life, to be the star of your story. One that you can start to re-write today.

If this sounds like you, I’ve been there. If you have looked for someone who gets you, perhaps this story has echoes of you. Perhaps it is you! 
If you have a similar story to share, then please drop me a message, either here or privately, and lets get your boots on to a new way of being you.

For women who know there is more to life than the 2am litany of failures than come with that Imposter Syndrome. Join in and be the star of your own story on GET YOUR BOOTS ON the Facebook Page.

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YMAG – Top 10 Women to Watch 2019!


YMag® a leading personal development magazine for professionals in Australia

YMag® is fastly becoming Australia’s leading personal development magazine, on newsstands today. It’s luxe feel, transports our readers to their happy place and allows them to sink into their favourite reading spot and start devouring the incredible, real-life stories of people from all over the world and Y they do what they do. YMag® is your ‘must have’ quarterly magazine available at leading newsagents and Newslink Agencies in outbound Airports. www.YMag.com.au/subscribe

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Inception

The process of creating and releasing a book into the wild is unlike any other experience in the world. The long process of writing the book transitions into more of a sales role once you move into the publishing stages.

Editing can be a delight–the idea of making your book into the best product it can be sounds like an obvious statement. The reality of editing can be more like a tour Dante’s levels of hell than the pleasure it should be working on your own product. It is good reason to use an editing person. The editor can be a impartial reviewer and actively work to make your product better, however your responses to the feedback can vary from powerful apocalyptic rage to sobbing grief and shades of everything in between.

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You can become so attached to the beauty of your words, the idea of changing them can trigger some extreme writerly reactions! Once you have coached yourself past this stage comes the scary stage of the public gaze.

While you may absolutely back yourself, your words, your work; judgement comes in many forms and fast and swift in the digital age. The writer must brace themselves for the potential for their work to be judged poorly, harshly, unfairly and possibly critically judged against the societal expectations of the time.

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As an author, you must learn to take the good and the bad, filter the useful feedback and rise above the slings and arrows of mortal men and women. The trepidation that one might feel over this possibility can actual mar the joy of the outset of your book release. Mental strength is one of the attributes that a writer does need to develop rather quickly at this point.

If you can manage to control all those crazy emotions once the book is freed, then you may be able to consider celebrating the delivery. This means a book launch, a party for your words! This is the celebration, the time that you take to enjoy and revel in the act of creation. Try to put aside thoughts of that drat editor, the amount of time and effort you have expended, and the possibility of the offencerati crowd jumping all over you and your product. Try to divorce yourself from all the flotsam of the real world and jump into that book world you created and spend some happy time there while immersed in the delight of your cosmos.

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